I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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