maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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