he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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