it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize