I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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