Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I have fence marks all over my body
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
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