fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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