If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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