About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize