i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize