Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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