Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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