"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
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he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
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people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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