guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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