All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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