been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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