why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize