Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize