I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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