the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
When did angry sex become our thing?
True strength comes from lack of pants
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize