she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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