My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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