Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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