WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize