I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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