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You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
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