google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
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