I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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