Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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