Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
