he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize