What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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