I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize