So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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