I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize