Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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