dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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