so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize