I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize