he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
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