I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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