was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
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