Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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