the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
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I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
is it fun? or sober?
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