Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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