He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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