I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
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just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
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Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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