we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize