Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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