you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize