Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
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By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
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The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
we're so committed to being not committed
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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