69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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