"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize